Read on for my thoughts on last night's Raw.
ALRIGHT GODDAMNIT LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. I'M VINCE MCMAHON DAMNIT.
I'm kind of surprised we haven't seen more of Vince on TV, unless he's at a point where he prefers staying behind-the-scenes.
DAMNIT ROMAN THAT WAS THE BILLION DOLLAR PRINCESS. THE FRUIT OF MY LOINS.
Holy shit Vince called it a belt! I thought that was banned. I mean, Vince is a former WW(F) Champion, so I guess he has a point.
GODDAMNIT BROOKLYN STOP CHANTING FOR THAT VANILLA MIDGET MILLENNIAL WHILE I'M IN THE RING WITH THE WWE CHAMPION.
I missed Evil Vince. His comments on the Samoans are outright inhuman. I bet he's a blast at Thanksgiving talking about the Islams taking over the country and how Trump's going to make America great again.
Can Vince just fire the security guards? I assume he rented out the arena.
I KIND OF want this to turn into a reference to the police controversies lately, but I don't know if they'd risk alienating anyone by commenting on it.
YOU CAN'T ARREST ME GODDAMNIT! I'M VINCE MCMAHON!
- KO vs. Neville:
What. I like Neville and all, but Owens should be able to clean his clock pretty handily.
Damn. Neville should have just taken the powerbomb and lost.
GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY ENOUGH IS A DAMN NOUGH. THAT YOUNG MAN DOESN'T DESERVE THIS. SOMEONE STOP KEVIN OWENS.
Nice KO/Ambrose stuff, although of course Owens pretty much always runs away.
I'd love to see Brock vs. Rock, but I don't see it happening at WM32. Maybe in Minneapolis next year?
That was good with Becky. I'm glad she's getting some character development.
Nice heeling by Sasha.
Hahaha Tamina doesn't even get to bury Brooklyn.
- Sasha vs. Becky:
This is going well. They have experience with each other, so Becky's probably more comfortable. That makes the match better.
This could be a big babyface moment for Becky competing against three Divas.
They're really doing good things here. Shades of NXT.
That was REALLY, really good. I'm glad they got time to tell a good story.
Nice nod to WWE's actual chief legal guy.
New Day is got to be the gimmick of the year. I wish more characters felt this authentic and unique.
Looks like someone backstage just learned what Internet acronyms are.
- Kofi vs. Kalisto:
I'm liking this.
Having one crazy spotfest match in a three hour show is fine because there are other styles on display. A whole division or more than half a show devoted to it is too much, though.
I like the Dragons. I'm glad the former Hunico is still in a regular role.
Nice setup for the next match.
- Big E vs. Sin Cara:
These two work together well.
New Day cracks me up pretty regularly. Too many acts are just about the moves in the ring instead of having personality.
Nice match overall. I'm a fan of everyone involved in this feud.
Thank goodness we didn't have much from MizTV tonight.
I'm REALLY glad we didn't have a long Miz/Ryback segment. That could have been terrible.
So they're just throwing everyone into this segment. At least Ryder got to come out in NYC.
Jesus Christ.... they've really run R-Truth's character into the ground. There are only so many times you can do the same joke.
GODDAMNIT NNNNOOOOOO we could have had an epic Heath Slater promo. He's the one man BAAAAAAAAAND!
Terrible. Terrible! Big Show KOing underutilized undercard guys is the exact opposite of what WWE should be doing going into 2016.
That was kind of a funny cut to commercial break. Hopefully Show's the first one eliminated at the Rumble and he disappears for a few months again. Please?
- Ryback vs. Show:
No one wants to see this match!!!
Ryback's trying. Bless him. He's certainly doing his best to make this worth watching.
Oh, maybe Big Show decided to retire after all, right then and there.
I hope Sheamus isn't just a corporate tool going forward.
- Usos/Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Barrett/Rusev:
Nice stuff so far.
I like Rusev a lot. He does what he does pretty well.
Hilarious response to the wave, although that will unfortunately probably only encourage further attention-seeking behavior.
Good match overall.
DAMN! Owens isn't playing around. I'm surprised he hasn't officially been added to LoN.
I wonder what Vince actually did there when "arrested." I'm guessing it was all pre-taped and he's backstage yelling at people during the show.
I'm glad this show didn't become the "Welcome Back Cena" episode I was dreading.
I think the adults were excited at the U.S. Title Open Challenge. The matches were often quite good.
WHOA! Didn't expect Cena to curse.
And now they're kind of throwing Del Rio under a bus.
I'm glad Lemmy got a tribute. Obviously he and HHH go way back, with a lot of Motorhead songs used for WWE and NXT.
- Cena vs. Del Rio:
Good match so far. Alberto is a really good athlete.
This is really impressive. Cena's one of the best wrestlers out there.
Of course, having Del Rio as an opponent will bring out anyone's A-game.
Cena's just insanely strong.
Oh God damnit. That would have been perfect to have Del Rio win dirty and make Cena actually have odds to work against.
Some really good action here with the LoN interference.
PHEW! I thought Cena was going to take that one.
Nice post-match so far.
Cena and Reigns together would be unstoppable.
I love how it's always "Vincent Kennedy McMahon." I look forward to next week's show.
More wrestling coming up.
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