I'm doing something special today since the March 3 Impact is being treated as such a big deal. Since that many matches and angles have been announced, I'm going to treat it similarly to a PPV. Which means that I'm going to tell how I would book it (if given the authority to do so). An important rule, though: I'd have to stick to what's been announced unless there's a reason I'd have to change it (someone being injured or leaving the company for instance). Keep in mind that I couldn't realistically change the whole company and booking in one night, hiring and firing whoever I pleased or changing rivalries around. So think of this exercise as me trying to do the best with what's been announced and promoted. And yes, I'm aware that the show's been taped already. It just makes more sense to tell what I'd book on the day it airs so it's fresh on everyone's minds. With all that out of the way, I'll start after the break.
One last note: These aren't necessarily in the order that I'd put them on the card. Oh, and it's going to look messy given how many things have been announced and how many angles they'll start and continue. Consider it a first step in improving TNA, not the whole (long) journey. But enough chit-chat. Let's get down to business:
Beer Money should beat Gunner and Murphy via DQ. The Immortal guys should try to get the win clean, but be frustrated by the more experienced tag team. So, they get a chair or title belt or whatever and lay them out for a (2-man) beatdown. I'm not big fans of these guys (mainly because I haven't seen much of them), but TNA's tag team division needs a boost and ending this feud now wouldn't be smart. This leads to a rematch at Victory Road, where G&M either cheat to win, or lose and get POd and steal the tag belts. I know, not a clean finish, but it keeps the feud building up and gives G&M some credibility and heat. As these two teams go at it, they should build up TNA's other teams more. Move along the splits of MCMG and Gen Me (since they've already started in that direction) and eventually get to tandems of Sabin and Shelley each teaming with a Buck. This feud freshens them up, because they were basically stagnant before the teased breakups. Then, down the line (by which I don't mean "in a few weeks or months") they can reunite the teams if they choose to. But they should have a good reason for doing so.
Wow, that was just the first match? I told you it'd be a bumpy ride. The Shore have already been announced as teaming with MTV's Angelina. I'd have them up against Kazarian, Traci Brooks, and Angelina Love. Angelina can use this match as the reason she can't help out Velvet in her match. Winter will be happy about this. Anyway, if they're going to be able to do Angelina vs. JWoww, have Love be distracted by Rosita and Sarita, so she can't help Traci getting hair spray in her eyes by Cookie. (MTV's) Angelina then gets a win on the incapacitated Traci. She should celebrate even though it's an obvious tainted victory. Then next week, she can brag about beating a TNA Knockout. Traci will be in JWoww's corner, and Cookie will be in Angelina's. This is so they can try to save the match by interference if it gets too ugly.
If they're not getting JWoww (then what's the point?), do the same finish but lead to Cookie and Angelina vs. Traci and Love. Traci would get her win back at the PPV.
In other Knockouts news, Rosita tries to interfere on behalf of her cousin, but Winter stops it so Velvet can get the win. Go to Sarita and Rosita (who need a team name) vs. Winter and Velvet at Victory Road. If Angelina's not tied up in the Jersey Shore madness, have her at ringside trying to keep the peace between those two.
For Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez, have Hernandez come down and cut a promo in Spanish. Then Matt Morgan runs down to interrupt him and they brawl into the (larger than normal) crowd. No contest. Have them try again next week, but Hernandez escapes through the crowd. Then do a Falls Count Anywhere match at Victory Road.
For the lawsuit, the judge should rule that even though Dixie signed under duress (or whatever), the contract for Bischoff and Hogan to run TNA is still legally binding. As a compromise, both sides will have to run TNA together. There will be a mediator assigned by the judge to make sure that things don't get too out of hand. He'll be named at a later date (Victory Road). Next week, have Hogan and Bischoff try to figure out who it is by asking different people backstage, and finally come across a flannel shirt and sock hanging up somewhere. Mick Foley is announced that Sunday as the mediator. He's under contract and probably being paid pretty well, so they might as well get some use out of him. He'll basically be used as a tool to continue sorting out the mess that is TNA under this idea.
Hogan and his friend Bart Scott will be upset at this news, and cut a promo on how it's BS and so on. This will bring out Kurt Angle talking about how HIS life is BS right now, and they have no right to complain because they're getting what they deserve. Kazarian (yes, Kazarian. TNA announced the segment would be Hogan and Scott with Angle and Kazarian, so my hands are kind of tied here) tries to diffuse the situation, cracking jokes at the expense of Hogan and Scott and trying to calm Angle. Angle will hear none of it, but is called to the back by Jeff Jarrett because it's time for him to get dressed for the wedding. Angle has no choice but to go back there, fuming. Kazarian walks out with a smile on his face as the segment ends.
Eric Young plays the guitar at the wedding (renewal of vows), consistent with his ridiculous character. The Jarretts rub their relationship in Kurt's face, and he goes ballistic. The Jarretts bail, so he takes out Eric with the guitar. I figure that if a concussion made Eric goofy in storyline, another could snap him back into reality. Once he heals, he becomes more serious in his tag team with OJ. Again, the division needs a boost and the wrestlers in it need to be doing something more important. Also, Angle slams the priest (or whoever does the vows) through a big tiered wedding (renewal) cake on a table, just because it's awesome. Not to mention that it gets over how angry and reckless he is. The cake should have a Jeff Jarrett action figure on top (if they have one for Karen, she should be on it too). Jarrett's an egomaniac (in storyline) so that would be fitting. And it's a plug for their merchandise!
We're almost done. Also announced is Jeff Hardy defending the TNA Title in an open challenge. Mr. Anderson, as #1 Contender, accepts. It's a setup though, and all of Immortal rushes him. Different babyfaces come to make the save, and it disintegrates into a big brawl. Then, the lights go out and the 3/3/11 video plays. Sting comes out at the stage entrance and stares down at what's going on in the ring. The announcers wonder what he'll do now that he's back, which side he'll pick, etc.. That's the hook for getting people back next week and the PPV. He'll work alongside Foley to clean up the mess in TNA, except that he'll wrestle and Foley won't.
Like I said, a chaotic show, but it's the first step towards improving things in TNA, and continues the major issues heading into a PPV that doesn't really have any hype going for it at the moment. I'll be back later tonight for my thoughts on what actually goes down on the show (which almost certainly isn't this) and Superstars as well.
One last thing: I just dealt with what had been announced. I'd likely add some stuff to keep other things moving along if there's time on the show. But that's it for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment