It's a few hours before the biggest wrestling event of the year. Read on for how I'd book the show.
(Note: these aren't necessarily in the order I'd have them on the show)
Sheamus beats Daniel Bryan to retain the U.S. Title. It'd be kind of silly in my book to have Sheamus regain some momentum and win the title only to drop it with a few weeks. Sheamus is someone I think has a bright future in WWE, and Daniel Bryan's growing on me, so I think this should be a pretty nice matchup, BUT Sheamus should win after getting somewhat hardcore on him (tossing him into a barricade, running him into a ringpost and steps, that kind of thing). This would lead to Bryan interrupting a bragging Sheamus and challenging him to a No Holds Barred match at Extreme Rules. Bryan would get more of an "edge" in the weeks to come, cutting more "serious" passionate promos like the end of his NXT run and showing us how brutal he can get by kicking up some "enhancement talent" and making them tap in the weeks before the match. Also have him put over the importance of the U.S. Title to his career, saying that he's won a number of titles in his career, but this is the biggest and he wants to bring respect to it.
Cody Rhodes wins with the Beautiful Disaster (middle rope enziguiri) with a knee brace after both men show what they can do in the ring. He then proceeds to mercilessly take out Mysterio with braced knees to the back and body and shots with his facemask. He tries to take off Rey's mask but security stops him. This unsurprisingly leads to a match at Extreme Rules where a number of "unconventional" weapons will be employed. Facemasks, braces, casts, crutches, stretchers... heck just make it an Ambulance match.
The Corre vs. Kane, Big Show, Santino, and (officially announced by WWE so it's no longer a spoiler) Kofi Kingston's a little trickier to book, given that my goal is to elevate the "newer" guys and there are newer guys on both teams! So, The Corre looks like a legitimate threat here, with Ezekiel and Wade going toe-to-toe with Kane and Big Show. The match ends after a nice back and forth match with Kofi beating Heath Slater. Slater's kind of the "go-to" guy to get his butt kicked in The Corre it seems. Anyway, Kofi gets elevated here and will eventually be a main event face on the show. The Corre will try to get revenge on Kane and Show in particular for the loss. This might lead to some changes in The Corre's line-up, using some ex-Nexus guys. Don't make it too bloated though. I guess from there we go to Kofi vs. Wade and the rest of The (revitalized) Corre vs. Kane and Show at Extreme Rules. Continue to build new stars, and use the veterans to help in that purpose. It's not that hard to figure out.
Die-hard wrestling fans are probably going to hate this one, but Snooki should get the pinfall over Michelle McCool for the big "mainstream press" moment. Laycool is naturally upset at this by Smackdown, leading to Kaitlyn, Kelly Kelly, and Rosa Mendes (Beth doesn't really fit in with this group) trying to strike them while they're weak. Laycool complains to Theodore Long, who will have none of it. In fact, he likes the proposal the other divas have to try to give Laycool competition so much, he's announcing a new Diva initiative (like his old Superstar initiative on ECW). This (over time) leads to the debuts of AJ Lee, Naomi, and of course Amazing Kong. Anyone else they think is ready can certainly be put in here, too. Then they can either shake things up with the Divas with the draft and/or say that these are just "tryout" contracts to try to impress the WWE Universe, and Raw can scoop some of them up. Don't debut too many too soon. The goal here's to revitalize the whole division on both brands because it's kind of on-again off-again and could use a nice boost.
Now that we're done with that tangent, let's move to Orton vs. Punk. I honestly don't think we can or should drag this out another month. Punk tries a number of underhanded tactics (maybe or maybe not including some bandaged and banged up New Nexus members), but Orton puts him away. Punk blows a gasket at this in the ring on Monday, firing the New Nexus (I think it's ran its course) and antagonizing the crowd. A big hissy fit in other words. He's interrupted by... Sin Cara. I've read that Sin Cara's not good with promos. If that's the case (and I don't know that it is!) just have Punk question why he's interrupting him, say that it's "his time" and so on. Sin Cara (is it ok to just call him Cara? I know it's not a first name, last name thing, but it feels natural to do) can then take him out with some flashy lucha moves as he does. Sin Cara vs. Punk at Extreme Rules. As for Orton, I think he should face Ted DiBiase next as DiBiase tries to climb back up the ladder so to speak. Orton can take him too lightly (this is why I kicked you out of Legacy, etc) leading to a surprise DiBiase win at ER. The goal's to have a fair number of over talent that can be switched around in the draft to freshen up the shows and stories, and make the best use of everyone that they can.
Lawler beats Cole. Cole comes to the ring cutting a big promo about how he's the real main event and so on and so forth (neither Cole nor Lawler should be on commentary for the show because they're "preparing for their match"). I'd love it if he came down to the ring in one of those mini-rings they used in some old-school WrestleManias (or was it just one?). Swagger would walk beside of it. Anyway, Cole tries to beg off King a few times by going between the ropes and that kind of thing, but Stone Cold won't allow it. Jack Swagger tries to get involved, but Austin catches wind of it and takes him out with an All-American Stunner. Then Cole has nowhere to go, gets a panicked look on his face, and tries in vain to escape. A crazy-eyed Lawler gets his revenge and a win at WrestleMania to put on his résumé. If they want to do a rematch at Extreme Rules, Cole can complain about biased officiating and the like. And that he had something in his eye or a bogus injury or something. I think they might need to change the announcers when they do the draft, because otherwise what's to keep Cole and King from continuing the feud indefinitely?
Bedlam ensues at ringside in the World Title match. A solid technical match, and Brodus and Rodriguez get nervous that Rel Rio won't win. They try to get involved, but Christian puts a stop to it. Edge tries to get the distracted referee back in the match, letting Del Rio sneak in with the Cross Armbreaker (which really needs a special name at this point) to win the World Title. He throws a massive celebration on Smackdown which Edge interrupts. We build to Del Rio vs. Edge vs. Christian vs. Brodus Clay, the latter of whom schemes his way in by a dirty victory over Christian. Theodore Long won't want Clay in the title match, but Christian says that if Clay can beat him, he should get in the match. Not the most original idea, but it works. I'm not a big fan of Clay's, but I think the match should be even (I don't want Christian to turn heel) and that's the best person to put in it given the storyline.
The Undertaker goes 19-0. No shocker there. You know the drill by now, Triple H gives it his all but can't win. Taker kicks out of his Pedigree and Sweet Chin Music from HBK. Have a sledgehammer involved if you want, just make it a good brawl with the close 2 counts that we're accustomed to in a Taker Mania match. Where we go from there depends on the shape both guys are in and what kind of schedule they can do.
And finally, Cena vs. The Miz: It doesn't matter to me if Riley gets involved here, as long as Miz doesn't look like a total chump who's going to lose at any second. The Rock comes down to the ring, which makes both men cautious, then he gives Cena the receipt from the Attitude Adjustment on Monday. Miz gets out of dodge for that part or will be already hurt on the outside of the ring. He then sneaks in and gets the pin on Cena from Rock's dirty work. The Era of Awesome continues as he retains the (MME?) Championship. Cena gets a rematch next month, where Miz won't have any help from Rock or A-Ri because it's a Steel Cage match.
And that's that. This took longer to put together than I thought! Feedback is appreciated, and I'll be back for the "real thing" later tonight.
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